Firebird News

Saturday, June 26, 2004

Good at hurting myself, and others . Don't know what happened this week but wasn't myself. Did some mistakes, and yes I was very boring.This is why need to be better than yesterday (improve what I am), When you don't have what to talk about is a shame. Lack of inspiration, yes not so creative these days.
Yah and illusion myself about that "forbidden love", How stupid can I be ?
Is good learning from pain , people don't see what hurts inside , some words pro duce real storms without any reason (imagine an summer storm that is above and can't do nothing to stop it).
Need to be alone a few days, to heal my wounds, and find myself.
Is just me that I'm angry and really bad , friends can't make me too happy now, have to do it alone .
You know the song:"Oh I need a friend who makes me happy..." , Another problem I s that I'm too open :tell only the truth and too fast, is hard to me finding an bridge to another person soul . Need help in friendship and have no advice from no one , Wonder what is thinking , maybe hurt it by mistake.
After a few days what I did wrong is visible : from friends to nothing. Zero ! Something is terrible wrong and this *don't want it to happen*.
Fear that's the enemy - makes me weak - fear for what she did to me.
Know know why is so - is just self defense - don't want to feel it again - to love and the suddenly train hit you , yah no love after that, make sense now ...
It's fear to feel pain again (is like going to dentist, even if is friendly and he/she wants to heal you - still go there with small heart and looking into the ground)

Finished the last exam (algorithms Complexity). Yesterday was roxa's birthday and have some idea's for a gift :P ...(hint) something green . And also was Yuly (Fane's wife) birthday a few days ago and have some ideeas for them too :)

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